Spine

When I got big on VHS collecting, a friend told me about this little Shot on Video film called Spine, and how rare it was. It took me eight months, my eternal soul, and eBay, but I finally managed to find an original VHS of this beyond rare film.

FILM-This "film" (only 70 minutes, so decide for yourself) begins with a naked, hogtied nurse being stabbed to death. The killer, Lawrence Ashton, targets the spine of his victims. Aside from the obvious, he only rapes and kills nurses, and every crime scene has the word "Linda" written in blood. Next we're treated to some detectives, and I use the term lightly, bumbling around the local hospital for leads. After a few more murders are committed, two nurses decide it's safer to move out to the country.

With the detectives on his tail, Lawrence begins to look for victims that aren't so close to the hospital. He stalks one of the two nurses home, and begins to psychologically torture them. He fancies one as Linda, and one as her friend. Will these two girls outsmart Lawrence, or will they end up like all the other "Linda's"?

As with most SoV films, certain people become attached to their favorites. Some that come to mind as being "luminaries" are 555, Sledgehammer, Blood Cult, and Cannibal Campout. There's just something about them. I can't describe it, and it's by no means an acquired taste- you either love them, or hate them.

I began hunting for this tape over half a year ago. I didn't expect a copy to pop up on eBay, but it did. Granted it's in rough shape, but still it's an uncut copy of one of the rarest tapes out there. Regular readers might remember about a 2 month slump in new content. My computer crashed, and was in the shop. Unbeknown to me, I had won several auctions, but with my computer crashing, never paid for them. In those two months, other things caught my attention, and those unpaid items were lost in my thoughts. With five minutes left on the auction for this tape I bid. I was shocked to realize those forgotten items had turned into strikes (now they're cleared up, just throwing that out there). I knew I would never be able to make another email and eBay account, and accepted defeat.

A friend who was visiting jokingly said "if you sell your soul do the Devil you'll win that tape". We're not superstitious in the least, and the fact we had just finished VanBebber's My Sweet Satan made this joke funnier. Knowing that time had defeated me, I laughingly exclaimed "the Devil can have my soul if I win this tape". I realized another friend of mine had left his eBay info on my computer (we're best friends, and depending on who's working which shift, it's common for one of us to bid for the other when work prohibits it). With three seconds left, I won my copy of Spine.

Thrilled and unnerved at the same time, I finally had the film that captured my attention for eight months. It's not a very good movie, and the ending is a pure slap in the face to every viewer. "Linda" is never fully explained, and the final shot makes no sense at all. The gore is mediocre at best, pretty much relying on blood splatter. The killer looks like an 80's hippy-trucker combo, and seems so out of place when compared to everyone else.

I knew this wouldn't be a good film, but I knew I would like it for what it is, and I did. There's a significantly cheaper bootleg DVD out there, but where's the fun in that? The rarity of this film, epically an original VHS (released by Sterling Silver, a porn company attempting to branch out into mainstream horror) makes it worth the hunt. It's distinctly 80's, and you can tell it was done for fun (unlike some SoV films like Death Nurse and Crazy Fat Ethel II), and if you enjoy these kind of movies, you'll enjoy Spine too. It's nothing special film wise, but after almost 3/4 of a year (and my "soul", if you believe in such tomfoolery) I finally possess one of the rarest American VHS. 7/10.